Ten Things I Hate At This Moment

My daughter in law posted a blog with ten random things she hated (or didn't like...can't recall at the moment), and first and last on her list was "the death of a loved one." These are the ten things I hate at this moment....

1. The death of a loved one.
2. The nagging questions that bombard my mind following the death of a loved one.
3. The pain that I feel...sometimes my heart feels like a knife is being stabbed right through it.
4. The worry I feel regarding other loved ones whose health is not so great...and I really can't stand the thought that I might be the next widow...
5. The feeling that everything I've ever believed about healing is a lie.
6. The insensitivity of people in times like these, though I'm sure that is not really their intention...not that this has happened in this situation as yet...but I've seen it so many times before.
7. Overeating when I'm depressed...people always bring tons of food to those grieving and it would really be impolite if I didn't try all of it, right?
8. Questioning the motives of people who seemed to dislike a loved one prior to their death, but after the death they seem all lovey dovey and paint them out to be a saint.
9. Night time...the mind seems to play over the events when I try to sleep...I see my loved one's face as it was in the hospital and that image is not a pretty one.
10. Wondering if he suffered at all....